Embrace Sexual Fluidity.

One thing most bisexuals have in common is a sexuality which has been fluid over the course of their lifetimes. At 59, I can attest it has been true for me. While I can understand how it may seem confusing to some I think that for most bisexuals it is just business as usual. There is now some reliable research that sexuality is fluid, for many people… changing over time. The research indicates the fluidity is more common for women (10 to 14% of American women and 6 to 9% of American men identify as mostly but not exclusively heterosexual) but exists for men as well. (Note: It seems that most of this research relates to cis men and women. I am still seeking research/information that relates to the trans community)

To those of us who identify and live our lives as bisexuals this just sounds like our sexual identity; which is never, or rarely, a 50/50 split. This view is not completely new. In fact, Alfred Kinsey’s research, done in the 1940’s created a continuum for sexual attraction. The continuum established by Kinsey was a 6 point scale  from 0, ‘exclusively heterosexual’ to 6 ‘exclusively homosexual’.  Sexual fluidity is the next step in explaining numbers 1 through 5 on the Kinsey scale.

Those who fear how this research may impact LGBT activism I would like to put those fears to rest. As a society and as a queer culture, we are best served when we support all forms of sexual identity and gender identity. If anything, it seems that millennials are not at all freaked out by this sexual identity reality. Fluidity, simply means a range of sexual expression and really underscores the truth that, as a bisexual, I really respond to…that I am attracted to people not genders.

Back in 1990 as a young mother who was not about to say I had chosen a side when I married my husband, the Bisexual Manifesto really resonated with me. I could be attracted to and love my husband but still express my attraction to and love for others, regardless of their gender identity and expression.  I quote the Manifesto here to emphasize what sexual fluidity has meant in my life and how embracing it in your own life will mean you will  be and feel more fulfilled and authentic.

Bisexuality is a whole, fluid identity. Do not assume that bisexuality is binary or duogamous in nature: that we have “two” sides or that we must be involved simultaneously with both genders to be fulfilled human beings. In fact, don’t assume that there are only two genders.


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