Be Bi Your Way and Own it!

We all have our own way of being Bi.  The right way is the one which works for you. The beauty of it is that no matter how you do you being Bi confers some very unique and important qualities.

Positive aspects/attributes and qualities of Bisexual people are rarely something we hear about in the public sphere. However, there is reliable research to support the following and I will add my own personal anecdotal experience that being Bi makes me feel more independent, assertive and unique.

Positive Bisexual traits are as follows: 

  • Independence: Bisexuals are much less likely to adapt to social/cultural norms. They know they have their own path to blaze in life and, especially as they get older, are happy with their unique choices.
  • Honesty and Authenticity: Bisexuals rarely know many people exactly like themselves.  This lack of community can be quite a test but it also can confer strength of character. Their sexual fluidity means that they are carving out their own identity and basically ‘march to a different drummer’. The joys and challenges of having a bisexual identity means that you have to really dig down to know who you are and how you are going to relate to other people.
  • Insight and Self-Awareness: It is rare that most Bis have a lot of role models to choose from. The downside is that it is hard to know how to navigate the many aspects of how to be Bi but it also gives Bis the freedom to learn about themselves and not to be constrained by societal norms. This means that we have to learn how to be ourselves by ourselves and, in so doing, learn our own strengths and weaknesses.

Positive Bi Relationship traits:

  • Freedom: Bis feel free to love as we see fit regardless of gender identity. We are not tied to any one gender and because of that we are free spirits who can make positive, unique choices in our personal relationship.
  • Willingness to explore sexual choices and experiences: We are not bound to the binary. We feel no compulsion to respond emotionally or sexually based upon gender or sexual norms. This means we can explore revolutionary ideas about relationships because we don’t feel defined by societal norms. Women and Men can explore their dominant and submissive sides and choose the qualities that work best for them in their relationships. In addition, depending upon whether or not we express ourselves as concurrent or sequential bisexuals we have to navigate our relationships accordingly. This involves a great deal of communication and honesty.
  • Acceptance of Others: Bis are not ‘boxed in’ to certain roles in relationships and so we understand those who chafe under the expectations that just don’t fit for them. I think this explains the natural relationship and understanding between Bi and Trans folks. Neither one of us fit very well in the binary structure that most monosexuals find acceptable and so we have a natural affinity. Bis have an almost ‘hard wired’ empathy for those who are considered different.

Positive Political/Social Bi traits: 

  • Positive Community: Bis are very willing to welcome those with sexual identities/gender identities that are not the same as their own. This is in contrast to the situation one can run into with gay/lesbian and heterosexual communities. Being ‘outsiders’ Bis have a natural and warm affinity for others who identify as Bi or who are also perceived as ‘outsiders’ such as the ace, aro, demi, trans, non-binary and other queer sub-communities.
  • Understanding of Oppression: Bis are very often marginalized or erased by society. This is not a positive thing but it does make Bisexuals keenly aware of how the ‘majority’ can oppress any perceived ‘minority’. Bis are in a position to understand the marginalization and recognize the oppression of other minority groups.

Needless to say, this just scratches the surface of all the amazing and wonderful qualities being Bi confers upon us. We have the freedom to express our bisexuality in a way that feels right for us. In my opinion, that is a rare gift indeed. ❤


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