I just really have to get this off my chest. I have seen so much lately about how Bi women are really not ‘women loving women’ and that is simply and categorically UNTRUE.
I know that the common trope is Bi women hook up with other women for attention (from men, natch) and are not really in it for the beauty and wonder and immense satisfaction that loving (and having sex with) another woman provides.
Decades ago, when I first came out as Bi I typically got this tired old canard from Lesbians. They were not interested in being in a relationship with me because I would just leave them for a man. This is a tale as old as time and one I battled when I was a young’un. I don’t think it has changed very much at all.
My own story involves a woman I was very much in love with when I was in my early twenties. She thought we should move in together and I agreed. It was really my first ‘serious’ relationship and I kind of thought I had found the one. However, on the off chance she did not know I was Bi I felt in the interest of honesty and transparency I should tell her. I really thought then, as I do now, it was/is so obvious I am bisexual but apparently it was/is not. Suffice to say, it did not go well. In her defense, she did give it some thought but her friends all told her I would cheat (with a man, natch) and leave her (for a man, of course). I tried to argue, that while the future is always uncertain, I had no intention of doing any of the things my future self was already accused of but, sadly, it was no use. I was crushed and crestfallen but also very angry. I always found it interesting Lesbians were so convinced Bi women were not capable of resisting the lure of a penis. One would think, as Lesbians, they would be well aware of the great sex a woman can have with another woman and that they were, in fact, demeaning themselves with this ridiculous idea.
I keep hoping this little piece of mono-sexual bi-phobia will go away but thus far it does not seem to have done so. Perhaps, with a current generation seemingly more in tune with the fluidity of sexuality and not held hostage by the prejudices of the past we will finally see this old misconception fade away. I will certainly raise a glass and celebrate if and when it does.