Dear Bi Sibs,
This is what I wish for you in the New Year. Call them resolutions. Call them intentions. But mostly, what I wish for you is to call yourself Bi, to own that identity and to be respected for it. I have a few ideas regarding how you can get from here to there. : )
Come to terms with your Bisexuality: Right! Easier said than done. I get it. How about this? Take it one step at a time. Educate yourself about Bisexuality. Read about historical Bi figures. Read about the psychology of Bisexuality. (Note: I plan to include some posts this year about excellent reads about Bisexuality so stay tuned) If you don’t know your facts and figures and your history/herstory it will be harder to explain who you are/what our community is to others.
Tell your closest, most trusted friend you are Bi: (bear in mind, I am a Mom so I want you to be safe. Never do anything you don’t feel safe doing) I hope you have that friend. Don’t underestimate anyone’s ability to understand you and to respect your sexual identity. If you have a close circle of friends tell them all. Expect their Respect. If they truly disappoint you move on. If they cannot accept who you are they are not true friends anyway.
Don’t allow others to identify you as ‘straight’ or ‘gay’ based upon your partner’s gender: Our partners do not define our sexuality. Don’t go along to get along. Stand up for yourself as a proud Bisexual.
If you are an LGBT+ activist/advocate: Demand others support/advocate for Bi rights just as ardently as you support LGTQIA+ rights. Don’t be a shrinking violet. Your rights are just as important as anyone elses in the queer rainbow.
Join a Bisexual group on social media: On Facebook there are many: BiNetUSA, Global Bisexual Network, Bi: Notes for a Bisexual Revolution, AmBi, Bisexual Organizing Project, The BiCast, Bisexual Women, Bi Elders, Bisexual Women of Color, Bi Men Network, Our BiNation, etc, etc. Just do a search. Same goes for Instagram, Twitter and other social media platforms. Choose the group that feels right for you and make some virtual friends. You may even find some Bi sibs located close to you geographically.
Reach out to other Bisexuals who may need your support: Far fewer Bis come out than other members of the LGBT community. Be the rainbow in another Bi sibs cloud. It is very challenging to combat the rampant Biphobia out there and there is strength in numbers. Be there for someone else and you will gain confidence from doing so. This could be accomplished by finding out what a local LGBT group does to address Bi issues (it may be very little) and establishing a Bi presence within that group. Trust me more folks will join you over time.
Do your best to be articulate about Bisexuality and Bi issues: Again, this goes back to education. Read Bi books/articles/research. You are Bi (no one can change that) but you will sound more informed as you combat Biphobia and seek to educate others if you know your subject matter deeply and well.
Try to be patient with those who are ignorant about Bisexuality: The media does not do a great job of representing Bisexual people and your mission is to combat that. Be clear, be coherent, and communicate well about our diverse and vibrant Bi community. You cannot know it all but the more you learn the more you can teach others. If you need to go ahead and rant, be bold, be decisive, stand up for who you are….just start with the idea that Knowledge is Power and #themoreyouknow the less you fear. Do not allow yourself to be ignored. You are valid and your visibility matters.
Don’t allow yourself to be disrespected: I was young once and I understand that it can be so challenging when your family or your friends are not Bi-friendly. Start w/education (make an assumption they are not stupid or evil) but if that does not work try to find/seek out those who are supportive. (Hint: Social media is a good place to start on that quest)
Take good care of yourself: Self-care is not only a personal necessity but a political one. You cannot raise the flag as a social justice warrior unless you take time to refresh and renew your own energy. There are many ways to do that (I like meditation, yoga, movies, a good book, merriment with good friends). Choose what works for you and set aside time to do it. You are important and you deserve the time needed to allow yourself rest, relaxation and refreshment.
Remember to enjoy your Bisexuality: You are NO ONES stereotype. Do Bisexuality your way and love who you are. In my view, being Bi is an amazing gift opening up a world of attraction and beauty. Revel in that magic!
I love you. I am here for you. We have Pride and we can be Powerful. Take baby steps if you have to but move in the right direction. The right direction is toward empowerment and self-love. The more you love and respect yourself the more others will follow your example. ❤ Hugs to all of you and loving vibes for a magical, wonderful New Year filled with BiPride and BiPower!