Livin’ the Grid Life.

Dr Fritz Klein wrote a book, The Bisexual Option. Originally published in 1978 the book provided research and information about a largely ‘unseen’ sexuality. It just happened to be my sexuality.  Bisexuality. I remember the excitement I felt to see a respectful, insightful treatment of bisexuality. It was the right book at the right time for me and explained the challenges Bisexuals faced in terms of the misapprehensions and discrimination from monosexual folks, now commonly referred to as bi-phobia.

The Bisexual Option remains the definitive book about bisexuality and about our sexuality as a spectrum.  It also takes into account the fluidity of bisexuality over a person’s lifetime. This allowed me to find language and expression for my sexuality which had a tendency to vary with time. In my earliest years, I had more of an affinity for sex and relationships with women and/or what we used to call androgynous folks (now referred to as non-binary; and I count myself among their numbers); a bit later I had a more equal eye for all gender expressions (and I would say that has been the majority of my life, thus far).  There was one person, whom I married, and who happened to be a cis man, but the fact I fell in love with him (and that we have created a long life together) did not change the bedrock of my bisexuality.  The Grid spoke to me much more than the Kinsey scale which was created with the idea that the number you choose was always going to be fixed.  That was not my reality.

Of course, the grid itself, is a bit of a relic as it refers to a binary of gender identity and that does not (nor did it ever) accurately reflect people’s experiences or who they are. However, the idea that as Bisexuals, we were not a ‘fixed point’,  has become the underpinning of our fluid sexuality.

Obviously, there is still much research being done. We should support and champion the work academics continue to do to explain, express and educate about our bisexuality. I would urge all bisexuals to participate in The Pride Study so our diverse voices can be heard: https://www.pridestudy.org/

 

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