Bi+ folks should love and respect themselves exactly as they are. Bis challenge patriarchal notions of how ordered society should be. We are the rebels who don’t abide by societal strictures. We are freedom fighters for love and equality and sexuality and uniqueness. Are we alone in this? Certainly not, there are others who bridle at conventions regarding relationships but, simply by our natures and our willingness to look beyond the expected we are on the front lines of the sexuality and societal expectations skirmishes.
Most importantly we need to show confidence in who we are and share that confidence with our Bi+ sibs. It is when we create supportive and safe community for each other that we can best present the beauty and magic of bisexuality.
So let’s start the conversation as to why Bisexuals are awesome (note, this will not be an inclusive list).
Here I would like to quote the brilliant Bisexual June Jordan: ‘To tell the truth is to become beautiful, to begin to love yourself, value yourself. Consequently, most of us really exist a the mercy of other people’s formulations of what’s important’
As Bisexuals, for far too long, we have taken a back seat (biphobia has played a key role in all of this, make no mistake) in the LGBT community and it is beyond time for us to secure our rightful place in the Queer pantheon.
The first step for Bisexuals is to accept, love, cherish themselves just as they are. We musn’t worry if we are ‘queer enough’, musn’t concern ourselves with whether or not we have loved enough men/women/non binary folks, musn’t look to others (such as our partners) to define us and, most certainly, musn’t expect society to validate us (at least not at this point). We must reach out, create local community, and advocate for ourselves from a position of strength. One of the main ways to do that is to love ourselves and our Bi+ siblings.
Bisexuals/Pansexuals/Multisexuals/Omnisexuals/non-Monosexuals are awesome because:
- We are the human embodiment of Freedom. We can love freely, whomever we choose, regardless of gender expression/identity.
- We have a long history (sometimes obscured by straight-washing or gay-washing) of Bi+ folks who were creative geniuses and provide us with illustrious examples of how to express our bisexuality. (the list is massive, do an internet search and that will only uncover a fraction of our ‘forefolks’. )
- We have been major movers and shakers in the Queer Liberation movement and, often, the most radical revolutionaries are Bi. (see Marsha P Johnson, Sylvia Rivera, Brenda Howard, and so many more)
- Fluidity is our game plan. We challenge the rigid structure of the Patriarchy (an outmoded societal system based upon very defined sex/gender roles) simply by expressing ourselves.
- We are a welcoming queer culture. We know what is feels like to be disregarded and diminished by rampant biphobia. When we are our best we embrace all of our Bi/Pan/Multi/Omni/Trans/genderqueer siblings without judgement.
- We do not ‘support’ the binary despite many misconceptions. Many of us are non-binary, genderqueer and embrace ourselves and others who identify outside of the binary.
- We are born ‘activists’ simply because we have been challenged in ‘fitting in’ in either het or homo culture. We blow those structures off of their foundations because we, typically, don’t express ourselves in a way which works within those limitations.
- I am sure there are so many more reasons we are magic and amazing that are not occurring to me right at this moment. Add your wonderful ideas to this list.
So, take a moment today and think about all the things that make you transcendent. If you are Bi, that will be a long list of things. Love yourself and bring that love to everything you do. If we work from this basis of self-love we will take this moment when Bisexuality seems on the cusp of significant visibility and run with it. I love you. Go do the work.
We are almost there….almost to a place where being Bisexual is more fully understood and accepted, nay, embraced. (Thanks GLSEN for this delightful graphic!)