Note the capitalization above. Sex is, of course, a very important part of being bisexual. It is not the only part of being bisexual. Bisexuality is not only the nuts and bolts about how we like it but, rather, a worldview which encompasses much more than what we do in bed (or outdoors, or in the backseat, or etc etc etc)

When I think of my own bisexuality I think of a world with no limits. A world in which I can appreciate the physical attributes of any human being but in which I am not attracted to everything that moves.

When other folks find out I am Bi the first thing they seem to think about/ask about is with whom I have had sex. I always try to explain that my sexuality is about so much more than whom I have done sex with. It is about being expansive, being curious, being intrigued and being engaged. It is about seeing the loveliness in a curvy female bottom and the hotness of a nicely formed male bicep, seeing the allure of a trans person’s mystique or confidence, or a non-binary person’s societal insight. It is about not feeling other people should be limited in how they express their gender or their sexuality. It is about feeling the hot flirtation and vibing with so many people in the room.

So, when you meet a Bi person or if they come out to you do not immediately think that the most important thing about us is how we make love/do sex. Please do not feel we are inclined to give you all of our sexual details,. It is no more important to most of us than it is to a straight person or a gay person. We are a diverse community with folks who are sex seeking and folks who are on the ace spectrum. We are Bisexuals but we are also human beings for whom our sexuality is of deep and abiding importance along with many other things in our lives which define us. Treat us the same way you would your straight friend or your lesbian friend or your gay male friend—as a complex and interesting fellow inhabitant of the Planet Earth.



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