I have taken a bit of a hiatus from blogging because I have been busy in my day to day life organizing and supporting my local Bi+ community. However, just because I have not been writing regularly does not mean I have not been keeping up with the queer media and how it routinely erases and disrespects bisexuals. It pains me when I see the queer press, and even bisexual bloggers, using bi-phobic tropes.
For instance, I recently saw an article by a bisexual man who indicated he ‘prefers’ to date men because it makes him feel more queer and not too long ago I saw the tired old canard about how bisexuality is transphobic. This must stop and in 20BiTeen we must make it our goal to erase the bi-phobia we see all too frequently in social media and in real life.
We simply must not tolerate and must regularly ‘call out’ the biphobia which so subtly influences and invades popular (and especially queer) culture.
Here are some of the most egregious examples of damaging biphobic comments.
‘I would never date/marry a bisexual’: Really, why not? We are real, flesh and blood folks who inhabit a beautiful spectrum of sexuality. We are no more likely to cheat than any gay, lesbian or straight person. Being a cheater makes a person cheat not being a bisexual. This is tired and old and needs to be consigned to the waste basket which includes all the old stereotypes the LGBT community has been dealing with for decades.
‘Being Bi is just a phase’ ‘Being Bi is just a stop to gaytown’: Just. Nope. I am Bi, have been out for over 40 years and I am just as bisexual as I have ever been. Being married has not ‘de-queered’ me. It is just awful that folks in the LGBT community would ever say this to a Bi person. How would they have felt/how did they feel when their parents/elders told them being Gay/Lesbian was just a phase they would grow out of? Yeah, they didn’t like it.
‘Aren’t all women somewhat bisexual’: Just no and this is insanely stupid. Straight women exist. Lesbians exist. Are you calling into question their sexuality? So stop this. Women are no more likely or unlikely to have a fluid sexuality than men. Saying this just seems like ‘wishful’ thinking for potential threesomes on the part of straight men. Stop it.
‘Bisexuals are transphobic’: Again, just no. Most bisexuals are as likely to be attracted to a trans person or a non binary person as they are to be attracted to a cis man or woman. We are not constrained by the binary. In fact, most of us live our lives outside the binary and might be why we are deemed to be so sexually ‘dangerous’ (which we are not or if we are only in the best way)
Queer friends….stop doing this to your Bisexual sibs. It is painful for all of us but it is enraging how difficult this pervasive attitude can make it so much more difficult for young Bi people. Bisexuals are much less likely to come out of the closet and a major reason is that pop culture still propagates such virulent biphobia.