Yeah, you heard it. Bisexuality is all about me….and you….and every other Bisexual. Bear with me and I will try to explain what I mean by this seemingly narcissistic statement.
As a bisexual person I can be attracted to any but not all people, I can have sex with any but not all people, and my attractions can ebb and flow over the years and the decades. This is why bisexuality is not about the people I have sex with or relationships with….it is about me. The reason I say this is bisexuality is not defined by my partners but rather it is defined by my way of looking at the world, my way of seeing other human beings and my way of experiencing attraction.
I sometimes think this flexibility of outlook and attraction is what befuddles and confuses monosexuals. Their worldview cannot include the idea of being attracted to humans of their own and other genders. They don’t see romantic or sexual partners of multiple genders as an option and I do.
I am going to get real in saying there has never been a time, even when I was coupled, when I did not see folks of other genders than that of my partner (or my own)as attractive and potentially fuckable. That truth does not mean I have ever cheated or that my partner meant any less to me. It simply means the universe is full of truly beautiful and enchanting people of all genders and to not see them and appreciate them I would have to have blinders on.
I just want to make clear I don’t discriminate or think less of gay/lesbian/straight people. I am just confused by their declaration they can only be attracted to people of one gender. Nawww….just kidding….while I find monosexuality limiting I will defend their right to be monosexual and I certainly understand what they are saying. Do I feel just a wee bit sorry for them. Well, given how much being bisexual has illuminated and enriched my life I would have to say I do. I just got lucky when I happened to be bisexual.
And, as Bi Health Month draws to a close, I challenge monosexual folks and LGBT organizations to stand up and support the Bisexual community. We definitely need your support. Our health outcomes are poorer than the straight and gay/lesbian communities, we suffer partner violence at higher rates , we earn less and have higher rates of poverty, fewer of us come out of the closet and we struggle with biphobia and bierasure,
And Bi+ siblings, if you are doing alright, if you have the support of family and friends and are able to be out and vocal speak up for our non-monosexual community. While I said being bisexual is all about me I also know the only way to build strong, stable non-monosexual community is to speak out about things that matter….and to walk that talk.