Is it a permanent phase?

If you’re reading this you, more than likely, know what Bisexuality is. Bisexuality is the potential to be physically, sexually or emotionally attracted to folx with genders similar to and different from your own. It really is that simple. If you know, you know. 😉 It can wax and wane over a lifetime. You can be more attracted to one gender for a time and another for a different time frame. You can always be equally attracted to folx of all gender identities all of the time. Bisexuality is as unique as the Bisexual. And, to be clear, the label you use for your non-monosexuality is as unique as you are, too. You can be Pan, Poly, Omni, Bi, no label, all labels. That is entirely up to you. You define yourself. Always.

Can someone think they are Bi and maybe, possibly, down the road have a different view of their sexuality? Of course, they can. We can never insist that someone stay in a box because we fear the myth (and it is a myth) that Bisexuality is just a phase. Could it be for someone whilst they figure out precisely who they are? Yes, it very possibly, could be. There are many reasons someone might consider themselves Bi and later have a much different view of their sexuality. Perhaps, as they have more romantic/sexual experiences they figure out what it really is that turns them on and brings them joy. Perhaps, societal heteronormativity made them ‘try on’ the Bisexuality label only to find it, too, does not fit.

As Bisexuals, we are so often doubted when we say who we are we must accord respect and deference to someone who is telling us what label and life they are expressing for themselves. We know how challenging it can be for folx to tell us who we are when we know ourselves very well. We should not condemn others to judgement when we do not condone it for ourselves.

That all said, we have to be clear that even if throughout our lifetimes our sexuality might ebb and flow, our preferences may change a bit and then change right back, we may choose our person and then not be interested in any other humans in a sexual or romantic way, we can and are still Bi. We still have the potential. We could still act on our sexuality in any ethical (preferably) way we desire. And, that is it, isn’t it….our desires are valid and vibrant and worthy just like we are.

While we should not feel threatened by folx who may come out as Bi and then change their label we should be compassionate with ourselves as our lives evolve. Just know that as the waves of our lives roll toward us, as we figure out how we are going to surf or swim our way through the storms and the calm, we are always floating in a big, diverse, fantastic ocean of Bisexuality. It is a wonderful, lifelong ride.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s