Bi Certain!

  • I have never been and I never will be confused about who I am. I sometimes think the ‘confusion’ attributed to Bis is manufactured by a society and culture that refuses to see and accept us as we are. Neat little boxes don’t really work for us. ‘Staying in your lane’ is a comfort zone for many. Bisexuals, on the other hand, are not constrained by societal expectations of sexual identity. We are willing to maneuver the sexual identity superhighway adeptly and without concerns regarding who we are and whom we should be with.  That can scare some folks.
    This occurred to me today as I was reading the coverage regarding Aaron Carter’s revelation that he is Bi. So many news outlets were referring to him as gay. (Full disclosure: I really only know that Aaron Carter was a singer in the 90’s known for doing a middling cover of Bow Wow Wow’s 80’s masterpiece ‘I Want Candy’. ) He seemed to have no problem expressing his sexuality and stating it very plainly. Who’s confused here? Certainly, not the Bisexual.
    In fact, Aaron Carter along with Evan Rachel Wood, Sara Ramirez, Aubrey Plaza, Alan Cumming, Billy Joe Armstrong, David Bowie,  Kirsten Stewart, Amber Heard, and countless others seem to have no problem explaining and expressing their bisexuality. There are far more out Bi folks than there were when I came out decades ago.

    I hope that this discussion in the public sphere will encourage you to be who you are. If you feel safe and secure I encourage you to come out. You may very well find out that a friend, a neighbor, a co-worker or a new acquaintance is Bi, too. I know I have. In the meantime, I (and so many others) will practice ‘radical visibility’ for you so that one day it will be considered no big deal to be Bi. Of course, that will be wrong, too…simply because it is a big fucking deal to be Bi and pretty damned awesome.  😀

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